The Replay

Don’t you hate when you think of something smart to say after the fact…  after the moment has been long over. The conversation just continues to replay over and over in your head.  Not only do you have something better to say, you have invented MULTIPLE things that would have been INFINITELY better than what you did in fact say. If you are me, then you have these conversations with yourself aloud while driving your desperate need of a paint job, Accord, down the freeway.  And when someonImagee looks over at you having this awesome conversation by yourself, with yourself, and answering yourself back, you look at them like wtf… your the crazy one! I’m actually having a productive conversation with myself, by myself playing both the roles of the talker and listener.  WTF are you doing?!!… listening to music? BAH…!

It stinks when you make wish you could have made a different choice.  Instead you have to just own what you said… bleh.  Enough of this nondescript psycho babble.  

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bathroom code: 05239

Do bathroom codes really work? Urbanites, you know what I’m talking about. The code/key/token you’ve got to ask for when you go relieve yourself.  I’ve never seen one actually deter a vagrant or nearby passerby who needs to pee.  The full bladdered person simply catches the door when the next individual comes out…  So why have them?

Well, in case your city doesn’t have enough traffic on the streets let’s create some in the establishment in which you are patronizing. Kidding… but not really.

Also does anybody know if your allowed  to skip people in line at the register if you are just asking for a code/key/token?  I always do, but I often wonder if its rude.  But then again, I usually have to go so badly that by the time I am trying to seize the key to unlock the bathroom I have zero patience and am extremely uncomfortable.   That being said I am interested in learning what the official etiquette of this situation is…

Surely.

Ok- test post completed.   I love how I’m the first comment on my own blog.  Oops. 

That being said let’s get down to the nitty gritty.  My dentist excursion today.  So, my cute little, petite 90lb 5’1 dentist wasn’t so cute when she shoved a not so petite 5 inch needle in my cheek 5 times (I only wish I was exaggerating).  The first time- I thought oh this isn’t so bad until she started rotating the needle around.  I thought hum…  no dentist has ever done that before. She then removed the needle from my cheek and started tapping it on the utensil tray.  Again, she inserted the needle into my left cheek, but this time with a little more vigor.  “Well, I guess she means business this time;” I told my poor cheek because this was a wee bit painful.  (I don’t really talk to my cheek or any of my other body parts for that matter, but I would have had I not had that stupid rubber thing in my mouth prying it open.) 

In frustration, she briskly removes the needle and begins banging it on the utensil tray.  Ok, now I don’t know much about denistry, but I do know a little something about human behavior.  And anytime someone rapidly rips an object away and starts banging it around such as a remote control, mechanical pencil, magic wand etc., it usually means that the object and in this instance, syringe, is broken.  In my mouthful of rubber and saliva suction straw, I mutter, “stuff’s not coming out. ” She gives a hesitated laugh back.  …um, nothing is funny here.

Now, I go to a dentist chain that I pay way too much for and I’m aware of that but what can I say it’s conveniently located, and I live in a big city.  Clearly, in this corporate dentist office they must have another syringe. And, preferably a working one I might add.

Determined to get this same broken syringe to work she examines it under the bright light.  She says something to her assistant, and they reposition for Novocaine attempt #3.

 The dentist thumped my cheek a couple times trying to get me to relax and then jabbed the needle again.  This time it hurt.  Rotating the needle in, out, through, around, up, down, over. um, OUCH!  Needless, to say I just ran out of prepositions to describe what the needle was doing.  

She finally removes the needle from my cheek and squirts it a little in the air. “It’s working now…” she replied.  So, in goes the needle AGAIN.  Attempt #4 was a success.  Finally, my left cheek had accepted the Novocain.  (Is that what they even use for numbing still?)  

I’m completely sweating by this point.  My palms are damp, pit stains are forming, and I can feel the vibration of my phone ringing at the end of the chair.  Great I thought, I still have to the right side.  While the dentist reloaded up, I tried to take a few deep breaths.  The assistant promptly corrected me and told me to relax my tongue.  I guess breathing is shunned by this particular office as well as working syringes.   The right cheek took two attempts to get the needle to work.  I guess that was 6 needle insertions all together…  and in my humble opinion, it was just a few too many too!  

There should have only been 2.  One for each cheek.  Infact, lets just put one big one in the lower lip and kill two birds with one stone.  Actually, that’s probably a bad idea in all actuality.  It’s much better in theory.  But seriously,  is it too much to expect a working syringe? Are funds so tight that you have to keep using a broken one?  Maybe I should bring my own from home like a do nail polish at  the salon? Kidding. Kinda.

Or, maybe they should use part of the $700.00 I just paid them for I office supplies? Like a working syringe.  I mean, surely, this corporate dentist office must have factored syringes in their operation cost. Right? Surely. 

Blushing Blogger… Take Two. Action!

       Hello fellow bloggers of the world wide web!  Nice to meet you.  My name is Rachel.  It’s even my real name.  I was thinking of using a pseudonym because my tech savvy, stalking grandmother loves the internet, facebook, ebay and such…  But then I thought, what do I have to hide from G-ma? Alot. Which made me again, think hum.. I should really have a pseudonym… which is precisely why I’m not going to.  I’m gonna put it all out there.  Or, some of it at least… a baby portion… like a 1/3 cup.  Back to the point, I look forward to much exuberant dialog, retort, and emoticons from all of you.  Kidding about the emoticons.  Well, not really… I mean who doesn’t like to turn their head sideways and try to distinguish what’s being said or not said should I say…?  See, now I’m confused.  Anyone know how to do a confused emoji?  Just kidding. Again, not really.  Well, I have to say the purpose of this blog post is to see if it actually posts.  And, yes, you writer snobs out there I am fully aware I used the word “post” twice in the last sentence…but we we all have a first, and thank God this is one that isn’t suppose to hurt!